listen to your heart

just maybe
if i stopped listening
maybe you could understand what i try to say
and that would be nice, wouldn’t it
but it wouldn’t
it would simply make things easier
for the both of us
and to be honest
i don’t think it’d be worth it anymore

“sorry, you were asking… ?”

“never mind.”

©Running On Clouds 2020


waves of midnight cascade upon copper mountains;
they roll down, rippling past curves rich in soil
playing in the wind
swerving, twisting, tangling
with every touch of her
feather-weight fingers

waves, they giggle
laughing as they are messed with tickles
that bounce
and bubble

anything but pristine are they

no, littered—

©Running On Clouds 2020


“why’d you stop writing?” she asked

swallowing my guilt,
“i became sick of lighting myself on fire
vomiting too much to handle
only to dump it out the window
so that they could dance on the streets
in the shadows of my mind
where butterflies blushed a murky ash

all for a like”
“all for a li—”

“i never stopped.”

©Running On Clouds 2020

growing up

i looked into her eyes
black pearls—i could see myself, smeared
blurred backwards—
guilt ridden, i pushed my forehead against hers
grey, but she always was
calmed my nerves that fritzed like our tv’s static
she’s still here, folded backward on my bed
just, i wasn’t.


©Running On Clouds 2020

sunny days

it’s been a while since i saw you smile
but when you did —you know, yesterday—
i just wanted to say, i liked it
because curled up in all that night
i won’t deny it, your gold kindness
that trickles down my cheeks
like syrup, i used to say,
was lost in all the calamity i threw myself in

i’m sorry
thank you for reminding me to smile.


©Running On Clouds 2020


it’s hard trying to show that you’re okay while still being “authentic”
but right now, i’m happy
they’re trapped
i’m happy
the demons—they were pushed down
am i happy?
they’re just          gone             i guess
yeah, i’m happy
is this normal?

god, nothing feels normal anymore.


©Running On Clouds 2020


i think we have it in reverse:
for i wonder what life would be like if we were judged
not by what makes us different
but for what makes us human,
and if we were loved not for what makes us alike
but for what makes us just so colorful.


©Running On Clouds 2020


water isn’t blue.
water is clear, transparent;
she reflects all that is around her
cools with ice, warms by the furnace—
she changes easily.
soaks in the murkiness that dare touch her
yet frolics with the idea of pulling in every piece of light
that wraps around her body.
of all things however,
water isn’t blue. (1)

©Running On Clouds 2020